haru..

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(Say goodbye)


Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless


What is it about that person next to you,
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times


Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day
Oh dear I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...


If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly


Always be happy with her, (so) I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened


I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live on
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you


Oh dear I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye




**actually ni  lagu Haru haru -big bang... hahahahaa.. gua tukar sikit je utk sesuaikan dgn keadaan... gua terlalu suka lagu ni kot... errrr.. gua suka sorg penyanyi dia sebenarnya.. hahahaha... serious.. lagu ni deep walaupun music dia x menunjukkan dia sedih... 

Homaiiiiii..

cipet.. ni apsal rupa paras blog gua dh berubah ni??.. bedebah betul.. ngalahkan fb timeline gua rasa..

ni nak kelik mana pon gua xtau... arghhhhhh stress macam ni...

neway... gua baru balik dari satu pulau... walauweiiiiii... driver jabatan yg angkut gua tu kacak macak terpacak dan terbelahak okayyyyy... manis yg amat...

(ok fine gua dh kawen... but x salah menikmati keindahan ciptaan tuhan kan?.. kan?.. hahhaaha)

ok sambung balik... brengsettt camne nak publish ni... berpinar mata gua cari button... haishhhh... dammmittt

First nite..

Gua yakin ramai yg click entry gua untuk kali ni.. mesti eksaited adik2 kita meng-klik... abang2 and kakak2 juga... hahaha...

Kisahnya lebih kurg begini...

Seperti biasa... lepas nikah,gua masih belum boleh tidur togetherness dgn MR.. mmg adat kita gitu kot.. utk kite x gelojoh barangkali.. hahahaha... serious shit gua x jmpe MR lama pon lps nikah.. dia kena balik rumah persinggahan dia yg 30km dr umah gua.. (x phm nape family dia nk sewa area sana).. so mlm tu gua tido sorg berendam airmata... x bukan sbb rindu MR... tp sbb family dia ada buat something yg buat gua sgt sentap dan x dihargai.... arghhhhh persetan semua tu... whatever..

Keesokkan harini..

pangpang kopang kopang.. gebing gebing gebing... hehehehe.. serious gua eksaited... joget2 kejap..

Walaupun hari hujan, tapi gua ttp bersyukur sbb ramai yg sudi datang.. walaupun yg dtg adalah kawan2 family gua dan bukan kawan gua... hahahaha.. whatever.. (dont worry, gua make sure gua balas balik nanti)... anyway, sbb ramai yg dtg.. gua x menang tgn layan tetamu... so end up dalam pukul 5pm baru nak gerak gi destinasi photoshoot...

owww lupa nk bgtau, memandangkan malam tu malam yg spesel.. mlm gatal2.. makanya MR dgn baik hatinya telah mem-booked bilik di sebuah hotel 5 bintang memandang laut... kelas jah... tp mcm haram sbb till 5pm tu pon gua x check in lg...

ok sambung part outdoor...

sepanjang amik pic, setiap kali jurugambar suruh pose kandid, buat2 tgh berborak or berbisik, perkataan yg kuar dr mulut MR hanyalah "siaplah sayang malam ni"... setan kan?.. gelabah katak muka gua... hahahaha..

selesai amik gambar, kami balik umah utk pack ape yg perlu.. asal boleh je gua sumbat.. ala sehari je pon... xkan nk bawak beg tarik plak... hahaha

sesampai di hotel, terus check in... sumpah kat kaunter check in tu gua tayang inai and cincin kat jari... nak diaorg tau gua ni dh kawen n check in dgn husband bukan bf... (tetibe psycho... budget diaorg nk repot gua kat JAIJ.. hahaha)

Otw ke bilik, MR tarik tangan gua rakus.. "cepat syg, abg dah x thn ni".. gua otomatik terus diri terpacak.. gua pandang muka dia.. dulu rsnya MR xde ah gatal sgt camni.. MR gelak sakan.. "Apa yg sayang pikir??.. eiii otak kotor... abang dh x thn nk terkencing ni.. sejak sebelum sanding till skang abg tahan".. gua gelak bangang kat situ ye... okayyy fine.. kalau korg pon sure pk ape yg gua pk kan??.. ehh.. ke gua je yg pikir tahap tu?..hahahaha...

Sampai je bilik MR terus lari masuk toilet.. fine.. dia mmg dh x thn nk kencing... hahahaha...

gua terpesona tgk keadaan bilik... lawa dowhhh... 1st time gua check in hotel 5 bintang... rasa mcm dh kaya sgt dh ni.. (walaupun gua guna gov rate.... hahahaha)...katil dia besar... mcm 3 single bed dicantumkan... gila ah.. tv flat screen bapak besar gila... pastu tepi katil ada glass window yg ditutup dgn blind dr dlm toilet... kira kalau bukak blind tu, org dlm toilet ble nampak katil ah... kinky kan?.. hahahaha

ok fine.. MR bukan setakat kencing tp siap dh habis mandi... gila bapak lama gua berangan... so otomatik gua plak kena mandi.. MR pesan jgn pegang dia sbb dia ada air sembahyang... pffttt.. perasan... sape nk pegang dia kan?.. gua terus masuk toilet... aisyyyy pintu dia xleh lock lah plak... perghhhh... kot2 MR buat lawak ceroboh masuk toilet ni mampos gua...

gua terus ke sinki... nak basuh make up n nak gosok gigi... tapi hati gua rasa x sdp... rasa mcm ada yg memerhati... ishhhh... x suka perasaan gini... gua abaikan dan teruskan memberus gigi... still rasa x sdp hati... so gua toleh kanan... HAAAAAA amik kau!!.. cermin yg mengadap katil tu dah x ditutup blindnya... jelas nampak luar okayyy... MR betul2 depan glass tu tgk gua.. siap lambai and senyum2 lagi... damn... gua terus tutup balik blind tu... ceisss.. rupanya dia buka blind tu dr dalam masa lepas mandi td.. nasib gua perasan... klu x free show gitu je..

sesudah mandi... gua pki wangi2.. rambut gua blow dry.. pki baju tido satin... gua lihat diri di depan cermin... eeuuwww jijik... gua tukar baju... t-shirt n track... ok now baru sexy.. hahaha..

kuar je dari toilet, MR dh sedia menanti kat katil.. gua buat selamba terus duduk tepi dia.. peluk lutut,.. 5 minit je.. pastu rasa sejuk gila.. cepat2 gua masuk dlm selimut.. eh.. dia pon ngade2 tetibe sejuk juga.. ceisss...

dua2 dok diam2 x bergerak tgk espn.. gua rasa bunyi jantung gua and dia kuat gila kot,.. hahaha.. neves gila.. gua dh xleh blah espn ni.. gua capai remote.. dan2 dia pon capai remote.. jari bertemu jari.. tetibe rasa mcm kena letrik.. tanjat gegirl.. terus gua lepas remote tu.. tp masalahnya tgn MR x lepas lagi tgn gua ni.. how?..

seperti cerita cerekarama biasa.. time tgh nak start lah ada plak tepon bunyi.. MUMMY tertera di skrin... gila ke apa klu x angkat... so gua angkat... mak gua bising.. family MR x pulang2 lagi semua kereta family gua yg diaorg pinjam sampaikan mak gua xleh hantar sedara mara balik... haishhhh... so dua2 ekor ni pon pki baju casual and pecut gi amik keta kat family MR yg jauh nun dimata... kena amik one by one okayyy.. ulang alik.. damiiitt.. (whc gua x phm nape family dia xnk pulang kete tu sendiri..pffttt)... so kami end up tiba di hotel jam 1am..

Mesti lu ingat skang sesi gatal2 dh bermula kan?.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo... TIIIIDddddddddddaaaaaaaaakkk.... lepas solat isyak dua2 membuta.. tido dengkur2... coz esok pagi kena bangun pukul 5am utk angkut family dia gi stesyen ketapi...

Lepas hantar mereka pagi tu, kami kena bawa serpihan family yg tinggal bekpes.. and then hantar ke rumah gua plak sbb diaorg akan bermalam umah gua... kol 11.45am kami ke hotel jap utk check out..]

Secara jahanamnya, kami bayar mahal utk malam yg istimewa 4 nothing.. utk tido 4 jam sahaja.. Tiada aksi 18sx.. tiada aksi gatal2... hahahahaha... mesti lu rasa nak lempang gua laju2 kan?.. penat je baca tp xde adengan panas.. xkan gua nk cerita privasi gua disini... apadah... gua blom gila lg.. hehehehe... sbb xde ape sgt lah gua berani crita.. crita dlm kelambu xleh bgtau org ustaz kata.. ni blom dlm kelambu lg.. baru nk psg kelambu so kire ok lah...hehehehe

So moral of the story, 1st nite x semestinya berlaku pd 1st nite... and x semua family faham bahawa mlm tu mlm istimewa korg so jgn ganggu atau menyusahkan korg... and seperti nasihat2 sebelum ni, sila cari pasangan yg yatim piatu n sebatang kara... sekian... hahahaha...

**like seriously??.. luorg serious igt gua akan tulis cerita mcm tu ke?.. nama gua pon gua x publish xkan cerita se-private tu gua nk cerita kt umum.. hahahaha..

Gua Ingat...

Apa yg gua ingat harini...


Gua ingat... nak jadi penulis novel.. lu org sudi jadi pembaca x?.. hahahahaha


Gua ingat.. gua nak benti keje and nak bukak kedai hantaran n bakery.. lu org nak singgah beli x?..


Gua ingat.. gua nak mogok sampai MR pindah sini, luorg rasa dia layan x?..


Gua ingat.. gua nak cuti panjang.. luorg igt bos gua nk bg x?.. (sbb gua baru bercuti 2 minggu.. hahaha)


Gua ingat... gua nak join kelas erobik utk kurangkan babat.. luorg rasa berapa lama gua ble bertahan?.


Gua ingat.. gua nak buat2 bz today so bos gua x kacau... eh xyah ingat kot.. sbb tu lah yg gua buat sepanjang harini.. hahahaha..


Gua ingat gua nak end entri ni part sini je.. luorg akan ternanti entri baru gua x?.. hahahahaha...


Gua ingat... gua dah bosan lah... sbb tu gua tulis entri ni... chow bellaaa... peaceeeee..

Perlu ke couple sama perangai?

ntah.. gua pon xtau.. gua sebelum ni selalu nampak gua dgn MR berbeza sgt2.. contoh:

1. dia jenis kemas.. gua plak bersepah..
2. dia suka lepak kedai sports.. gua suka kedai buku..
3. dia x makan makanan pedas.. gua suma pon ble..
4. dia iron t-shirt dia.. gua campak je t-shirt dalam almari, time nak pki renyuk pon apa gua kesah..
5. dia suka bersukan.. gua suka tgk tv..
6. dia suka bercuti dipulau.. gua suka bercuti tempat sejuk sbb nak fefeeling kat oversea.. hahaha
7. dia suka budak2.. gua suka certain2 budak je..
8. dia pendiam.. gua riuhhhh..
9. dia sgt sopan.. gua terkinja2..
10. dia kurus n fit.. gua chubby n babatlicious..

banyak lg..malas gua nk list

but then.. anak buah dia dari new zealand tu borak dgn gua.. umur dia 7tahun.. kecik agi.. dia cakap..

"aunty.. aunty dgn uncle ni semua nk sama.. kalau uncle suka, aunty mesti suka" (dgn slang mat salleh okayyy)

gua terpingga2.. "apa yg sama?.. i dont see any similarities between us pon"

"let me think.. ermmm... uncle loves Man Utd.. aunty pon.. uncle loves blue colour.. aunty pon... uncle loves taking pictures.. aunty pon... uncle loves wearing jeans.. aunty pon.. uncle suka pegang rambut Rina.. aunty pon suka.. both of u look hepi 2gether.. u even laugh at uncle's joke eventhough it's not funny and uncle did the same thing for u.. uncle likes nasi goreng cornbeef.. aunty pon suka... uncle loves quarter pounder burger.. aunty pon.. uncle likes travelling.. aunty pon... and when u guys walk, uncle always reserved a space between his arm so that aunty can put ur hand there "


tetibe gua sentap... budak kecik pon ble nampak similarities tu.. tp nape gua x nampak?.. it proves that kita ni sebagai manusia x pernah rasa bersyukur... ada je alasan untuk menyeleweng and cari org lain... hahahahaha... (tp skang xleh cari org lain ye sbb gua dah kawen.. ms tunang dulu pon gua behave)

so kesimpulannya ialah, jgn terlalu mencari yg perfect... coz yg sedang elok dah ada depan mata.. hikhikhik... so make do wit what u hav before it's gone... serious... now, baru gua tau nape gua kawen dgn MR... banyak similarities yg gua sendiri x perasan...


and yes.. anak buah gua ni mmg suka bercakap... usually slang english yg sgt pekat or even ckp english memanjang.. poneng kepalo den.. owww and satu lg similarities gua and MR setuju kami sama ialah, kami x suka bawa anak buah kami ni gi jenjalan... sbb nanti susah nak dating and susah nak ada intimate conversation... budak2 ni petah sgt ckp sampai pening nk layan... hahahaha..

soal jawapan munakahat gua secara pukal..

gua harini berbesar hati utk menjawab soalan2 lazim yg sentiasa dicurahkan kepada gua.. Sempena YB a.k.a Shiro menang, gua sudi menjawab soalan2 tersebut... hahaha

S1: Dah berisi belom?
J1: Dah.. isi dgn babat.. hahahaha..

S2: x sedih ke jauh dari huband?
J2: Brengsett.. what kind of question is that??.. mesti lah sedih... lu apa tau

S3: Macam mana eh perasaan lambai dia kat epot?
J3: Perasaan paling jahanam yg boleh lu rasa..

S4: Apa perasaan bila jumpa??
J4: Bahagia.. rasa mcm nak hentikan masa.. nak capture setiap detik dlm otak and xde satu pon miss.. kalau boleh nak hafal setiap pegangan tgn dia.. Nak nikmati setiap bau bdn dia (bila dia dh mandi n pki perfum lah... hahaha).. masa jumpa, rasanya perkataan I Love U tu mcm tahap tadika je.. x cukup utk nk gambarkan perasaan cinta tu... jantung berdegup kencang.. hati girang.. terasa pelangi bersilang2 diawan nan biru.. dunia terasa indah..

S5: Bila dia nak pindah dkt dgn gua?
J5: Ntah.. x pernah discuss.. eh jap.. pernah.. tp xde apa2 kata putus..

S6: Kenapa gua x pindah sana ikut husband??
J6: Gua ada karier der.. ada masa depan.. ada parents nak jaga.. parents gua pon x berapa sihat sgt.. adik beradik gua yg lain xleh diharap.. abg kandung dh meninggal, abang angkat dh x pedulikan gua sejak dia kawen, adik gua plak sibuk nk pindah lepas kawen... so tanggungjawab tu gua yg kena galas.. lgpon klu gua pindah sana gua kena benti keje, xleh transfer sbb keje gua xde cawangan sana.. and... budak mcm gua mmg xleh survive sana... gua dh try dok seminggu sana.. x working for me.. lgpon kos hidup sana jauh lg tinggi dr kat sini...


S7: Berapa kali gua jumpa dia sebulan?
J7: Paling byk adalah bulan Mac ni.. 12 hari.. next jumpa lepas mac?.. masa raya lah nanti ... apa lg..

S8: Macam mana gua boleh hati kental macam ni?
J8: Kental mendenya... gua tiap2 mlm melalak.. hiba gitu.. dia pon byk msg dr call sbb klu ckp lama2 dgn gua nanti gua melalak.. hahaha.. so ofcoz lah ini menunjukkan gua x sekental yg luorg sangkakan.. avril diluar tp barbie didalam.. awwwww..


S9: Nanti kalau dh ada anak pon jarak jauh juga ke?
J9: Ha ah dan tak Ha ah... gua xde jawapan... hanya Allah yg tahu.. buat masa ni, rasanya begitu lah..

S10: Macam mana gua tido mlm tiada dia disisi?
J10: Tutup mata ya tido... apa yg payah sgt.. maklumlah, sejak keje kat opis berlambak ni tido tu dh mcm mknan ruji dh.. mudah saje berbanding dulu.. tp yg pasti atas katil gua ada dekat 5 bantal tido.. hahahahaha...


So gua rasa ini je soalan2 munakahat yg berkaitan dgn gua yg selalu ditanya oleh org sekeliling gua.. gua dh ngantuk sgt dh ni... chowww bella...


**Sila bagi Cipudin gua makan... penat dia berlari kat wheel dia tu.. hahaha...

obsesi terbaru...

gua tgk tv..

chanel 393..

hari selasa kol 6.30pm...

tetibe ada pertandingan nyanyi korea... and gua dgr lagu ni gua terus addicted... penyanyi asal dia Rachael Yamagata... tp budak korea ni punya version lg gempak.. serious... Baek Ah Yeon nama dia... gua xtau camne nk link kan dr youtube... tp yg penting ni lirik dia... tetibe gua touching-touching.. hahahaha... serious lu org kena dgr...



"Be Be Your Love" - Rachael Yamagata/ Baek Ah Yeon

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love



*gua rasa gua perlu gi kelas pemantapan IT.. hahaha... xtau camne nk letak video tu kat sini.. damnn