ini adalah perbualan standard kaki berangan mcm gua dan MR... ye... kami mmg suka berangan... sangat suka... hahahahaha
MR: Kalau ada anak perempuan nanti abg nak namakan dia Amina..
Gua: hmmm... ok... sdp gak nama tu... tapi Amina je ke?.. x pendek sgt..
MR: Amina Masterchef
Gua: serious?
MR: ha ah..
*again... bunyi cengkerik and bunyi tumbukan deras ke bahu MR*
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tanya MR
gua: kenapa abg kawen dengan sayang?
MR: sbb dh mmg jodoh kita...
gua: ........*insert bunyi cengkerik*..
MR: sbb dh mmg jodoh kita...
gua: ........*insert bunyi cengkerik*..
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
pendapat kaum adam.. a sort of..
Selalunya perempuan je yang ada rules bagai ni... but now apa kata kita tgk side lelaki plak kan?.. baru lah adil and saksama... hahahaha... ni gua amik kat fb kawan gua... dia repost dr sape tah... klu ikut nama situ kata Gavin Cross... xtau ah dia yg reka atau dia pon sama je repost dr org lain... xpe.. kita sharing is caring ok... but sumpah lawak... and quite true...
gua cut and paste je tau so ofcoz x edit tulisan bagai... malas... gua cuma nak sharing je... if lu rasa ni post lu, then feel free utk komen ckp ni lu punya so sesiapa yg baca post ni maybe akan tau and cakap "ahhhhh ni post dia ni rupanya".. cheerrrrssss...
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
Hahahahahahaha... lawak kan?.. but true... suma yg dia ckp kat atas tu adalah apa yg gua slalu AVOID dr buat sbb gua tau pusing2 nanti last2 gua yg sakit hati so better avoid berkelakuan seperti diatas... dia x annoyed and gua pon x berapa sakit hati... No... gua bukan hati kering... agak moist juga, cuma gua jenis malas nak layan benda remeh... Banyak lg cerita Korea gua ble tgk dari melayan sakit hati... hahahaha... Skang gua tgh obses dgn Kim Woobin... gua rasa dia hotness.. tall skinny bad boy... haishhh cair ahkakkkk..
gua cut and paste je tau so ofcoz x edit tulisan bagai... malas... gua cuma nak sharing je... if lu rasa ni post lu, then feel free utk komen ckp ni lu punya so sesiapa yg baca post ni maybe akan tau and cakap "ahhhhh ni post dia ni rupanya".. cheerrrrssss...
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
Hahahahahahaha... lawak kan?.. but true... suma yg dia ckp kat atas tu adalah apa yg gua slalu AVOID dr buat sbb gua tau pusing2 nanti last2 gua yg sakit hati so better avoid berkelakuan seperti diatas... dia x annoyed and gua pon x berapa sakit hati... No... gua bukan hati kering... agak moist juga, cuma gua jenis malas nak layan benda remeh... Banyak lg cerita Korea gua ble tgk dari melayan sakit hati... hahahaha... Skang gua tgh obses dgn Kim Woobin... gua rasa dia hotness.. tall skinny bad boy... haishhh cair ahkakkkk..
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
ucapan ringkas
Selamat Hari Raya.. Maaf Zahir Batin.. dan Salam perantauan... hahahaha... poyo... eh tp x berapa nk poyo lah sbb gua mmg raya di perantauan pon thn ni...
neway klu ada salah silap harap dimaafkan... gua tau kengkadang ayat gua agak mcm haram jadah sikit... sorry ye ppl...
owww by the way... misi memakan buah zuriat tu mcm x menjadi... keras gila babas buah tu ye... nk kupas satu hal.. nak hancurkan isi dia satu hal... so baru buat half way, kami bercadang utk sambung lepas raya je... hehehe...
gua kat opis ni...half day... nak get ready.. nak chow... fly jumpa kekasih hati... haishhh apalah agaknya perasaan raya jauh dr keluarga ye... mesti sucks gila and gua jd sgt barbie nangis2 bagai... ye... itu pasti...
xoxo.. publish... ok fine now berunsur poyo... hahahaha... tata..
neway klu ada salah silap harap dimaafkan... gua tau kengkadang ayat gua agak mcm haram jadah sikit... sorry ye ppl...
owww by the way... misi memakan buah zuriat tu mcm x menjadi... keras gila babas buah tu ye... nk kupas satu hal.. nak hancurkan isi dia satu hal... so baru buat half way, kami bercadang utk sambung lepas raya je... hehehe...
gua kat opis ni...half day... nak get ready.. nak chow... fly jumpa kekasih hati... haishhh apalah agaknya perasaan raya jauh dr keluarga ye... mesti sucks gila and gua jd sgt barbie nangis2 bagai... ye... itu pasti...
xoxo.. publish... ok fine now berunsur poyo... hahahaha... tata..
Thursday, August 1, 2013
percubaan mendapatkan anak
yes ppl... dah nak raya ni mestilah isu anak bernbangkit..
bagi gua, gua baru je kawen... tp bagi org sekeliling gua, gua dah berkahwin selama 365 hari+ 8 bulan lebih... ok fine gua x pandai matematik... td igt nak nampak pandai kalau guna hari tp lupa plak bahawasanya otak gua ni xleh memproses number..
ok back to the topic..
buah zuriat
beberapa bulan yang lepas maklong gua bg mak gua "buah zuriat" dari Makkah.. dia suruh gua letak dalam handbag and bawak kemana2 kecuali tandas... selalu pegang2 buah tu.. (ok fine it sounds weird.. i know)... and makan buah tu (sagat mcm kelapa katanya).. mana buah tu now?.. dalam laci bilik mak gua.. kenapa x guna lg?.. gua xtau camne nk guna.. and buah tu sebiji je... mcm syg plak.. bukan senang nak kirim org..
berubat cara kampung..
yup.. kawan mak gua suggest gua gi jumpa satu nenek ni kat area kota tinggi... x ask.. i x even know rumah dia katne.. ekceli gua agak sentap... apsal mcm suma org beranggapan yang bermasalah tu gua?.. pada gua yg bermasalah adalah jarak... kalau gua hari2 jumpa ble lah main hari2 (bak kata ex-pumpkin.. hahahaha).. tapi memandangkan gua xleh tunjuk yg gua ni reti terasa hati... gua senyum and layankan je... so lps raya ni In Shaa Allah gua akan gi jumpa makcik tu.. gua x pasti dia nak urut atau raba atau nak sembur2.. bak gua kata td... gua layankan je..
EPO+Fish oil Blackmore
ni tips dari adik ipar gua yg dh pregnant tu... (yes akak is stress sbb dia pregnant dulu).. dia ckp kat gua dia aritu ada cyst ke benda tah dalam rahim... tp dia rajin mkn EPO+fish oil ni... cap blackmore ye adik2...baru makan dua bulan dah melekat... gua sengih je... bg gua faktor dia lekat tu sbb dia dududk serumah dgn adik gua... tp xpe... kite cuba je... sbb sebelum ni kawan gua pon ada bgtau yg adik ipar dia amalkan EPO ni terus lekat.. so mari ikhtiar..
Acid Folic
dulu gua ada cuba... tapi pastu kena kencing kotor so gua stop... now bila pk balik, adik ipar gua aritu 4 bulan kena kencing kotor... pastu baby lekat... agaknya dia nak cleanse rahim dulu kot baru lekat?.. ntah lah jgn caya sgt sbb ni cuma teori gua... hahaha... by the way gua dh lama x amik lagi folic ni...
scan dalam rahim
ok fine... utk menolak tuduhan manusia2 yang ber-rumour-san gua yg bermasalah... gua igt gua nk gi scan rahim... no... bukan scan kat perut tu... yg tu gua dah buat... doc kata gua ok xde mslh... ni gua nak scan yang masuk dari bawah tu... yes ppl... ada alat yang akan mencemar duli di area itu... hahahahaha... ok fine x kelakar... ni pon gua igt nak buat lps raya... tp prosedur ni gua rahsiakan dr keluarga gua... gua gi dgn kawan gua je kang... y?.. if keluarga tau nanti diaorg byk cekadak and they will make me feel like shit even more... so better gi sendiri je... even MR pon xkan tau pasal benda ni... unless the result is super positive then gua akan bgtau MR so biar dia plak yang sarat otak igt dia bermasalah... hahahahha... evil kan?.. ekceli gua rs bukan dia juga... ni salah jarak ... and rezeki blom sampai... (nak sedapkan hati)
ok tu je yg berkaitan psl usaha gua... skang nak cite lain plak...
petang ni ada jemputan buka puasa... dept yang berhubung kait gak ah dgn gua... dia jemput gua n MR dtg.. tp gua rasa gua xgi kot... pening kepala lah... and gua ni sebenarnya x berapa awas drive waktu mlm... lainlah kalau ada driver amik... hehehe...
puasa tahun ni gua rs badan gua x memberi respon yg baik.. dh macam budak2 dah... x thn puasa... pening lah... loya lah... lembik lah... sakit pinggang lah.. kejang urat lah... ngade2 sungguh... atau mungkin ini semua tindak balas sbb x jumpa MR lama... hmmmm mungkin juga... mengade kan?..
p/s: tadi ex pumpkin email gua pasal sleeping buddy yg muka mcm ryan gosling... gua senyum je... tp bila gua baca free gift dia if order skang gua terus berdekah.. apa yg free?... "Morning wood attachment".. hahahaha... if xtau apa benda tu sila google... lawak wei... mampus kena pelangkung dgn MR kalau gua beli benda ni...
bagi gua, gua baru je kawen... tp bagi org sekeliling gua, gua dah berkahwin selama 365 hari+ 8 bulan lebih... ok fine gua x pandai matematik... td igt nak nampak pandai kalau guna hari tp lupa plak bahawasanya otak gua ni xleh memproses number..
ok back to the topic..
buah zuriat
beberapa bulan yang lepas maklong gua bg mak gua "buah zuriat" dari Makkah.. dia suruh gua letak dalam handbag and bawak kemana2 kecuali tandas... selalu pegang2 buah tu.. (ok fine it sounds weird.. i know)... and makan buah tu (sagat mcm kelapa katanya).. mana buah tu now?.. dalam laci bilik mak gua.. kenapa x guna lg?.. gua xtau camne nk guna.. and buah tu sebiji je... mcm syg plak.. bukan senang nak kirim org..
berubat cara kampung..
yup.. kawan mak gua suggest gua gi jumpa satu nenek ni kat area kota tinggi... x ask.. i x even know rumah dia katne.. ekceli gua agak sentap... apsal mcm suma org beranggapan yang bermasalah tu gua?.. pada gua yg bermasalah adalah jarak... kalau gua hari2 jumpa ble lah main hari2 (bak kata ex-pumpkin.. hahahaha).. tapi memandangkan gua xleh tunjuk yg gua ni reti terasa hati... gua senyum and layankan je... so lps raya ni In Shaa Allah gua akan gi jumpa makcik tu.. gua x pasti dia nak urut atau raba atau nak sembur2.. bak gua kata td... gua layankan je..
EPO+Fish oil Blackmore
ni tips dari adik ipar gua yg dh pregnant tu... (yes akak is stress sbb dia pregnant dulu).. dia ckp kat gua dia aritu ada cyst ke benda tah dalam rahim... tp dia rajin mkn EPO+fish oil ni... cap blackmore ye adik2...baru makan dua bulan dah melekat... gua sengih je... bg gua faktor dia lekat tu sbb dia dududk serumah dgn adik gua... tp xpe... kite cuba je... sbb sebelum ni kawan gua pon ada bgtau yg adik ipar dia amalkan EPO ni terus lekat.. so mari ikhtiar..
Acid Folic
dulu gua ada cuba... tapi pastu kena kencing kotor so gua stop... now bila pk balik, adik ipar gua aritu 4 bulan kena kencing kotor... pastu baby lekat... agaknya dia nak cleanse rahim dulu kot baru lekat?.. ntah lah jgn caya sgt sbb ni cuma teori gua... hahaha... by the way gua dh lama x amik lagi folic ni...
scan dalam rahim
ok fine... utk menolak tuduhan manusia2 yang ber-rumour-san gua yg bermasalah... gua igt gua nk gi scan rahim... no... bukan scan kat perut tu... yg tu gua dah buat... doc kata gua ok xde mslh... ni gua nak scan yang masuk dari bawah tu... yes ppl... ada alat yang akan mencemar duli di area itu... hahahahaha... ok fine x kelakar... ni pon gua igt nak buat lps raya... tp prosedur ni gua rahsiakan dr keluarga gua... gua gi dgn kawan gua je kang... y?.. if keluarga tau nanti diaorg byk cekadak and they will make me feel like shit even more... so better gi sendiri je... even MR pon xkan tau pasal benda ni... unless the result is super positive then gua akan bgtau MR so biar dia plak yang sarat otak igt dia bermasalah... hahahahha... evil kan?.. ekceli gua rs bukan dia juga... ni salah jarak ... and rezeki blom sampai... (nak sedapkan hati)
ok tu je yg berkaitan psl usaha gua... skang nak cite lain plak...
petang ni ada jemputan buka puasa... dept yang berhubung kait gak ah dgn gua... dia jemput gua n MR dtg.. tp gua rasa gua xgi kot... pening kepala lah... and gua ni sebenarnya x berapa awas drive waktu mlm... lainlah kalau ada driver amik... hehehe...
puasa tahun ni gua rs badan gua x memberi respon yg baik.. dh macam budak2 dah... x thn puasa... pening lah... loya lah... lembik lah... sakit pinggang lah.. kejang urat lah... ngade2 sungguh... atau mungkin ini semua tindak balas sbb x jumpa MR lama... hmmmm mungkin juga... mengade kan?..
p/s: tadi ex pumpkin email gua pasal sleeping buddy yg muka mcm ryan gosling... gua senyum je... tp bila gua baca free gift dia if order skang gua terus berdekah.. apa yg free?... "Morning wood attachment".. hahahaha... if xtau apa benda tu sila google... lawak wei... mampus kena pelangkung dgn MR kalau gua beli benda ni...
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